I am sharing... a post written by my daughter-in-law, Cherie Henriques. It is a wonderful, heartfelt perspective on life as a military wife. As a mother, I feel especially blessed to have Cherie by my son's side. We are both feeling an extra tug on our heart today as my son leaves for an overseas assignment. We are all praying for his safe return and are proud of him and the commitment he and his fellow officers have made to protect and serve. God Bless each and every one.
by Cherie Henriques
Being a military wife or spouse certainly isn't easy, it's hard and complicated but it's the life we live every day. Believe it or not, when we say we're taking one day at a time it's usually the truth, because you never really know what might be around the corner when you're on military time.
From the outside, people peer in through the window an make their own comparisons and assumptions about the lifestyle. But the truth is, like any single relationship, all have their own circumstances and challenges. Being in a military marriage is a unique tale unto its own and unless you're the one reading the book, you have no idea what the story's about.
Throughout chapters in your military incorporated relationship, you discover several plot twists, blank pages and have more than a few light bulb moments when you realize, *yep, I'm committed to finishing the whole book* and at the end of the day, you don't really know how long this novel lasts, you just know you'll read it till the end.
It's hard because...
You've got to hold it together when your service member leaves for work for months on end or more and never get to talk to them.
You've got to be okay with moving half way around the world from your family.
You've got to be okay with your service member missing all the special occasions like birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and possibly the birth of your child.
You've got to be okay with putting your career on the back burner because moving all over the place and maintaining a career isn't as easy as it looks.
You've got to be okay with everyone throwing in their five cents, telling you how you should feel, what you should do and making assumptions on what life as a military wife is like.
You've got to be okay with letting go some of the control in your life because you're on military time now so be prepared to cancel dates, trips and any other plans you may have made together.
You've got to be okay with always coming home to an empty house, to talking to yourself and lying alone at night.
You've got to be okay with leaving close friends and family behind while you start a new life over and over.
You've got to be okay with parenting alone and accepting that's what life is.
You've got to be okay having meltdowns when you need to in order to get by and not go mental.
You've got to be okay with making new friends over and over and over again.
You've got to be okay with it being a thankless job to wait around and look after your life together while your husband's away.
You've got to be okay with spending as much of your marriage apart as you do together.
You've got to be okay with talking about death, dying, and the traumatic effects of the job or what "could" happen.
You've got to be okay with finding the positive in the midst of some really challenging circumstances.
And you do alllll of this...
Because you love your husband very much.
Because you are strong, resilient and tougher than you ever give yourself credit for.
Because despite people telling you that "YOU" chose this, you didn't, you chose to love the man of the job.
Because you love a challenge and a change of pace.
Because who doesn't enjoy getting fancied up in her best ball gown and going to a black tie dinner or ball.
Because you love sending and receiving the love letters and the surprise parcels.
Because you love the romantic reunions on the arrival home.
Because everyone loves a man in uniform.
Because you love seeing your husband happy, this is what he's always wanted to do and standing beside him while he does it is a proud moment.
Because amongst the moving all the time, you DO make some amazing friends along the way and get to see the countryside.
Because being a military spouse provides you with a new appreciation of love and your significant other.
Because every day that your husband puts his combat boots on, you put on your own version, because you know you have to be his rock just as much as he is yours.
Because you love the fact that in spite of all the hardships your relationship faces, this is just what you are both prepared to do for you love.
Because regardless of allllllll of these things, your love trumps all of it! You commit from the very beginning that a relationship is work, a relationship in the military is A LOT of work, there's no doubt about it, but you committed to work as two individuals who can work as a unit to conquer all...
and you do.